


when the shoe finally drops

by HerDiamonds



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Feels, Post-Canon, Weddings, bc thats my brand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerDiamonds/pseuds/HerDiamonds
Summary: She’s waiting for the shoe to drop. He knows that today, on the day that’s been going so absolutely perfect, she’s waiting for that drop. Because he knows her. Or, well, he likes to think he knows her.or another damn post-canon 16x16 fic… don’t be shy, I know you want to read this...
Relationships: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson
Comments: 23
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i hope everyone is enjoying their day. tbh, I really don’t know where this fic came from, other than one single idea but if I tell you it, it spoils the entire plot of the story, so you’ll just have to read and find out!
> 
> also thank you belle and Mac for your help, dont know what I would do without y'all. 
> 
> this one goes out to thejolexgroupchat. this ones for y’all!

She’s waiting for the shoe to drop. He knows that today, on the day that’s been going so absolutely perfect, she’s waiting for that drop.

Because he knows her. 

Or, well, he likes to think he knows her. As good as she knows herself, maybe as well as he knows  _ himself. _ And with that, it means knowing how she feels. Reading her every feature. Knowing her like the back of his hand, her quirks and the little things. The emotions, worry, and big things too. 

But he pushes that aside, and focuses on her presence. 

_ She’s beautiful, _ he thinks.  _ She’s always beautiful, _ he corrects himself. But every time he sees her in a white dress, it makes his heartbeat race just a little bit faster. 

“You really shouldn’t be in here.” She warns him. He just shrugs in response. 

“I just wanted to make sure the kids weren’t in here getting into trouble or bothering you…” He brushes off. He knows it's a pathetic lie since the kids were already in their places outside. But he can’t help himself.

“They actually listen to me, unlike  _ someone.” _ She says, giving him a pointed look.

He takes a look at himself in the full-length mirror, adjusting his tie and running his fingers through his hair. She laughs lightly, rolling her eyes not believing his excuse before readjusting his tie and smoothing out the hair he’d just ruffled up. 

She pauses, staring at him for a moment. “Am I doing the right thing?” She asks softly. He takes her hands in his larger ones, her palms feeling so tiny in his and he looks down at them before looking up at her. 

“I can’t tell you that.” He says quietly. “Only you can be the judge of that, Jo.” 

She lets out a deep sigh before taking a look in the mirror and then glancing around the room, making sure she didn’t forget anything before her eye catches the clock and her eyes widen. 

“Alex, seriously, we’re gonna be late!” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” He shrugs and she elbows him in the side as the door swings open, revealing Link. 

“You need to be out there?” He pauses, looking between Alex and Jo. Alex nods his head, ducking out of the room and rushing to the venue before anyone could notice and he takes his position. 

Moments later, everyone’s standing and turning, facing towards the back as Jo makes her way down the aisle. Her and Link are arm in arm as he gives her away, and Alex smiles at Link as he walks away. 

He looks back to her, and his heartbeat races again. He has always loved her, and he’s so happy that she’s back in his life, even with the long, messy road they had to travel to get here again. He wouldn’t trade it for the world. He’s happy that she’s happy again and he would never want to jeopardize that. 

Her first wedding, he hadn’t been there for it, and if he was, he would've liked to think he would’ve stopped it. Would’ve never let her marry such a man like Paul. Saved her from all the pain and trauma he put her through, but he knows she wouldn’t be the woman she was today without having endured that either. It’s a double-edged sword for him. He remembers at their first wedding, the way absolutely nothing had gone according to plan. So very opposite from today. From getting locked in a shed with a corpse, to their wedding planner almost dying, and then ending up getting married on the ferryboat, with Meredith ordaining it all. And their second, where she wore the same white dress again, covered in fake blood, as they exchanged vows at the courthouse, on Halloween. Nothing about it was conventional. He’s glad she has a new dress now, too, not one covered in the fake blood, even though each time purchasing a wedding dress is a big deal and a big expense she always feels like she doesn’t need or deserve. He’s so grateful that everything turned out exactly how she’d planned this time around. It’s what she deserved. 

He tunes out the words and watches as Michaela stands right beside her, trying to be on her best behavior and stand still, holding her basket of flowers that’s almost as big as her head. The little five year old is antsy and he knows it's taking everything in her to listen and follow all the directions she was given today. Poor Margot had had a meltdown as she walked down the aisle with her big sister throwing the rose petals before Jo followed behind and thankfully Alexis had stepped over to help console the toddler so as to not ruin the ceremony. For that he was thankful of his daughter. 

His eyes wander back to Jo, seeing her tearing up as she keeps her eyes in front of her, avoiding any eye contact. He knows she does this when she’s fighting the urge to cry. And he can’t help but want to just reach out and wipe away her tears but he can’t. Not now, anyway. 

And then he sees the outright panic rising in her eyes and watches as her whole body tenses. He watches as her lips move, but he can’t make out what she’s saying. He thinks maybe she says “sorry” but he really can’t tell. And then her hands drop down to her sides, shaking, and she takes a step back, giving herself some space before she turns. 

And he watches as she hikes up her dress, and hurries down the aisle she’d just made her way down. The guests turn and stare at her in shock as she’s halfway down the aisle before he’s headed after her, calling out her name behind her. Telling her to stop, to wait. 

She doesn’t listen.

He follows her back into her dressing room. And she’s completely crying now, shaking. And he doesn’t know what to do or say or if he should even be there right now. He knows that people are going to come knocking soon, to find out what’s happening, but he can’t deal with that right now. Jo doesn’t need to deal with that. 

So, he takes her hands in his, and holds them gently, finally getting to wipe the tears from her eyes as she looks up at him. “I can’t do this, I can’t. I’m sorry.” She’s on the verge of hyperventilating now. And he just wants to go back in time and fix everything, from the beginning. So he could take this away from her, so she’d never have to deal with going through this in the first place. Never have to second guess herself in front of family and friends at a wedding ceremony. 

The door to her dressing room opens, and she turns, her back facing Alex now.

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” She cries.

“I know.” He says softly. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know you saw me this morning with the girls.” She starts out, watching him, gauging his every reaction. “This is Michaela, we-uh, we call her Mickey.” Alex’s brow furrows again, he doesn’t know why she’s telling him this. “She’s our daughter.” And everything clicks into place, as Alex looks up from the phone and back at Jo. He can see the absolute look of dread and panic running across her face, and he’s almost afraid she was going to be sick from how pale she grew. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, I’m still fucking reeling from last night’s episode of greys. idk how to process it anymore… but like can’t wait for Jo to adopt luna bc she's totally going to. you can’t tell me she’s not.
> 
> anyway, here’s the next part of the mickey and minnie series, rewinding to the beginning of how it all starts! I hope yall enjoy! let me know what you think!

Alex really didn’t know what to expect when he returned to Seattle with two nine year olds in tow. It had been almost two years since Izzie had passed away, her cancer returning shortly after he had moved to Kansas to be with his kids, uprooting himself and leaving his wife, his job and everyone he loved back in Seattle. It was awful, watching Izzie slowly slip away again, knowing he couldn’t do anything to help her this time around, on top of their two young children having to watch their mother die too. 

But he’d finally decided he’d spent enough time in Kansas, mourning Izzie’s death, letting his kids grieve, and tie up all their loose ends before making their move back to Seattle, back home. So he’d proceeded to pack up the twins and move back. He’d found a small three bedroom house for them to live in, just a few streets over from Meredith’s place and had been happy to have his former best friend stop by or visit and appreciated the help she lent while he moved them all in. He enrolled the twins in school for that following year and had plans on meeting with Bailey that afternoon to see if there was a position open for him at Grey Sloan at all. 

He wasn’t expecting to run into the love of his life, his ex-wife Jo, with a toddler on her hip and a carseat carrier on her arm, dressed in pink scrubs, rushing down the corridors of the hospital. He assumes she’s running late, but his presence makes her completely freeze, stone cold, across from him before she snaps out of it and continues on her way to the elevators, now frazzled and looking like she’d seen a ghost. 

He doesn’t see her again for the rest of the day, but his day passes by swiftly. Bailey informs him there’s an opening as a Peds attending she can grant him, and that she’s sorry to have heard about Izzie, she’s glad to have him back even though she’s still mad at him, and she can’t wait to meet his kids. He thanks her, for the job, for the care, for everything she’s done for him. And he gives her a hug, glad to be back again, in the halls that feel like home. 

He gets a text, from an unknown number with a Seattle area code as he’s walking out of Bailey’s office late in the afternoon. He’s on his way to pick up the twins from Meredith’s, thankful that she was able to watch them while he could see if he could get his old job back. 

He looks at his phone, quizzically, reading the message over.  _ “Can we talk?”  _

It confuses him at first, but it clicks finally and he replies to it with a one worded question.  _ “Jo?” _

She tells him she was on-call today, while one of her moms was laboring and suddenly she had to rush in because the baby wasn’t waiting anymore, but he’d been born perfectly healthy and Jo was back to being on-call, texting Alex. 

He saves her number, calls Meredith and asks if she can keep the twins a little longer before agreeing to meet Jo at a cafe not far from the hospital. A new one that had opened up in the time that he was gone. One she says is one of her favorites now. 

He walks into the cafe, seeing her already sitting at a table in the corner with a paper cup in her hand and one sitting across from her. “I went with your usual, from…” She trails off and he nods, thanking her before sitting down. 

He makes a comment about the pink scrubs, and she starts to fill him in on everything he’s missed out on in the years he’s been gone. How she’d switched specialties after he’d left, needing a bit of joy in her life. And she’s vague about a lot of things, for a while, before she finishes her cup of coffee, setting it down and looking up at him with a look he can’t quite discern. 

“I need you to hear this from me, before anyone else, but first, I need you to know it was never my intention or plan, and I am truly sorry.” 

The look on her face makes his palms grow clammy and his brows furrow. He watches her pull her phone from her pocket and scroll for a minute before turning the phone to face him. There’s a picture of the toddler he’d seen this morning, across the hospital. She can’t be more than three, with wavy dark hair, and a crooked smile. She’s got Jo’s nose, but there’s a different familiar look in her eyes that he can’t quite place. 

“I know you saw me this morning with the girls.” She starts out, watching him, gauging his every reaction. “This is Michaela, we-uh, we call her Mickey.” Alex’s brow furrows again, he doesn’t know why she’s telling him this. “She’s our daughter.” And everything clicks into place, as Alex looks up from the phone and back at Jo. He can see the absolute look of dread and panic running across her face, and he’s almost afraid she was going to be sick from how pale she grew. 

Waves of emotion course through him in that very moment and he’s not sure what to say for a moment. He’s sad, and hurt that she kept Michaela,  _ Mickey,  _ from him for the past few years. He’s mad at himself, because he knows if he’d just told her about the twins in the first place instead of being a coward and running with his tail between his legs, he might’ve known Mickey from the start. He’s elated, to know he’s a father again, to such a darling little girl. And in that moment, it clicks, the familiarity of the little girl’s face in the picture, reminding him of Amber when she was little. 

He knows she’s waiting for his reaction, and that she’s beyond nervous. But he looks back up at her with a smile. “She’s beautiful. We made a really cute kid.” 

And Jo lets out a sigh of relief, the tension somewhat leaving her body in that moment.

“You’re not mad?” She asks softly, letting him hold the phone and scrolling through pictures of their little girl. 

“Yeah, at myself.” He says softly. “If I’d just been honest with you, when I found out about the twins, we could’ve figured this out together and I could’ve been here for her, for you. Izzie and I weren’t happy together. We tried for the kids, but we ended up living in separate houses until she got sick shortly after. And then I moved back to the farmhouse and watched her die again, this time leaving two kids behind. And I missed out on another one of my child’s lives, because I didn’t follow my heart and stay here like I should’ve, or told you the truth. I’m sorry, Jo.” 

She raises a brow, clearly confused now. “You shouldn’t have to apologize Alex. I should’ve called you. But I didn’t know how, or what to even say. I’m the one that’s sorry.” 

“We both made decisions we regret. Can we just choose to move forward instead?” 

And with that, she nods in agreeance. 

Alex shoots Meredith another text, telling her he was running late and he’d pick up the kids before bed before he and Jo decide to continue talking and catching up, ordering cafe special sandwiches for dinner and digging in, like no time between them had passed. 

“Who’s the other rugrat, the one in the car seat you had this morning?” 

“That’s Margot. She was almost a Safe Haven baby, turned ‘I helped deliver her in the middle of a tornado lockdown on the ferry heading into work one morning’. I’d met her mom on the ferry that morning, and we’d got to talking. She said she was on the way to the hospital to have her baby but she just seemed so detached and she told me how she didn’t want her baby, how she couldn’t raise her. And then we were on a lockdown on the ferry, and she had been in labor for a while. I helped deliver her and then Caroline pushed her away and wouldn’t let me give her to her. She refused to hold her. So there I was, holding a screaming newborn and a toddler on my lap, this older man next to us was so helpful and kept Mickey entertained just long enough so she wouldn’t try climbing the rails of the boat. Caroline refused to acknowledge the baby and told me to leave her at the fire station, but as soon as I held that little girl in my arms I knew she was mine. It just felt right, so I’ve been fostering her currently while the adoption papers are still going through. They’ve been trying to get in contact with Caroline so I can officially adopt her, but she’s nowhere to be found, which means she’ll be a ward of the state first and then I have to go through the process that way.” Jo explains. 

And just as she finishes her sentence, her phone starts buzzing, paging her back to the hospital. 

She promises to keep in touch with Alex as she’s clambering together her things, arguing with him about the bill but he insists on covering it for her. And with that, she’s rushing out of the cafe, back to the hospital to deliver another baby. 

He’s happy to see her happy, even after how badly he wrecked her, according to the phone calls he’d gotten from Meredith, and even Link. 

––––––––––––––––––––

  
  


He meets his daughter for the first time, two days later. Jo had texted him her new address, a beautiful four bedroom home she was still in the process of moving into, according to the boxes littering the halls, but it was unpacked enough and she had two young children. 

The twins are thankfully with Maggie today, he was grateful she had off for a few hours to watch them so he could take the chance and meet his daughter by himself before she would drop the twins off at Jo’s with him before she went into work. 

Mickey is everything he could’ve imagined and more. She’s the spitting image of Jo, except with his sister’s eyes, and his mischievous, crooked grin. She’s brave and strong and resilient just like her mama, stubborn and sly like himself. She’s the absolute perfect mix of the two of them and he’s absolutely in love with her the second she smiles at him and calls him “Daddy”. 

Jo takes on motherhood like it’s nothing. He watches as she swiftly juggles feeding a three month old Margot and manages to catch Mickey as she makes a move to try and leap off one of the barstools. He doesn’t know how she does it. He feels guilty for having a part in Mickey’s wild nature, but he can’t do anything about that now. 

He’s completely enamoured with all three of them. 

Maggie drops the twins off a few hours later, and they meet their new little sister after Alex and Jo both had time to talk about what they wanted to do, moving forward. They’d cordially agreed on a schedule that worked for both of them, but living not far from each other, and working together, they decided to truly just play it by ear, though Alex stood firm in telling Jo he’d be setting up a room in his house with a bed for Mickey, for when Jo was ready to let her spend nights at her daddy’s house. 

Once she was up from her nap, Mickey got to meet her older siblings and immediately the three of them were all begging to be taken to the park that Mickey had told her siblings about. Jo caves and Alex agrees, packing the kids up in their separate cars to have enough room for them all, and lugging them all to the park to play and run off all their energy. 

They’re able to bribe the older three back to Jo’s with promises of pizza because it was getting dark and the park was closing. Margot had been getting fussy, Mickey was clearly tired and fighting to stay awake but Jo needed to feed her and the twins happily chatted with her and Alex as they waited for their pizza to be delivered. 

He notices how she’s been looking at her phone all day, smiling at the screen before locking it and resuming casual conversation with him again. He knows he has no right to ask, but the cheerful glint in her eyes making them shine makes him happy to see her happy again. It bugs him all day and finally he asks about what has her so smiley. 

And it feels like they go back to the beginning, when they’d become such good friends and tease each other about awful dates or the horrors of foster homes they’d grown up in. So she tells him, about the guy from the firestation, about her friend who’s helped with the girls sometimes when she’s in a pinch or who takes her out for a beer when she just needs a moment to escape and she can pawn the girls off to Link and Amelia with promises she’d take Scout in return. She tells him about Jack, the guy she’s been seeing, on and off for about six months now, ever since before Margot came into her life. 

About how she became friends with Jack via volunteering with the Safe Haven program over the years, and how his one-sided flirting soon became mutual, and he asked her out on a date. Alex watched the burning red blush rise into her cheeks as she told her ex-husband about the new man in her life, slightly embarrassed, now that she’d had a glass of wine in her. 

Alex just smiles, and says he’s happy to see her happy again. And he’d babysit Margot too if she ever needed a date night.

––––––––––––––––––––

“No! Ugh!” He hears her pout as he’s holding the door to the hospital’s daycare open and waiting for her to follow him in. He was on his way to pick Mickey up from daycare, for his weekend with her, before he’d meet the twins downstairs when their bus arrived. He raises a brow to her in question and she looks at him, sighing again. “My sitter just cancelled on me. I’m supposed to be meeting Jack tonight and I’m going to have to cancel again because I have Margot. And I’m already running late.” She huffs, signing her five month old out and giving Mickey a kiss goodbye while Alex lifts her up. 

Alex rolls his eyes, holding his hand out for her to pass him Margot’s car seat carrier. “Let me take the mini one, too.” Jo looks at him, questioningly. “Hey, I was serious when I said I’d take her too. I already have the other three. She’s probably the most behaved out of all of them.” He shrugs. 

Jo gives him another warning look, but he just leaves his hand out, asking for the carrier. Reluctantly, she hands over the carrier, squeezing one of Margot’s feet in the process and hands Alex her diaper bag. “Are you really sure?” She questions one last time. He nods reassuringly, and she breathes a sigh of relief. “She has a bottle in there and formula. She’ll take a full eight ounces too, and an applesauce pouch. I can come get her on my way home–”

“I can just keep her overnight if you’re okay with it. Don’t rush yourself.” He says. She knows Margot would be okay, and she trusts Alex. He’s the best father to their daughter and she knows the twins are so great with the girls too on the days she’ll come pick Mickey up and they’ll have dinners together. 

They reach the elevator and Alex leans over, letting Mickey press the buttons before they’re all loading into the cab and heading down to the entrance to the hospital where he knew the twins would be waiting for him. 

She gives him a look of thanks, relief filling in her body. “I can’t thank you enough.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Mickey and Minnie will be fine!” He says, laughing to himself at the joke. It earns him a glare. 

“Nevermind, I’ll take her back.” Jo says, reaching for her but Alex’s starts walking away, shouting for Mickey to say bye to Mommy, hearing Jo yelling after them, “Don’t call my kids that!”

He ignores her, greeting the twins as they question him about the baby with them for the night but they’re still excited to have Margot with them. 

Jo stares at the five of them walking off, Alex holding Margot’s carrier with one hand and Mickey in his other arm while the twins walk by their side, with their backpacks on and out to his car in the parking lot. She lets her heart yearn for them for just a moment before her phone buzzes, interrupting her thoughts at Jack’s text, asking how far away from the restaurant she was. 

Alex wakes up early the next morning, excited for their traditional waffle breakfasts on the first morning of the days he had all of his kids with him. He sets Margot up in her carrier on the counter in his kitchen while he mixes pancake batter for the waffles and heating the iron before pulling the package of bacon out of the fridge. 

He’s in the middle of pulling bacon out of the oven when Alexis’ footsteps pad along the floor, followed closely behind by Eli’s. Eli slides up onto a barstool, making faces at the baby in the carrier while Alex grabs plates from the cabinet. 

“Lex, can you grab Minnie’s bottle out of the fridge and put it in the microwave for thirty seconds.” He asks, pouring more batter into the waffle iron. 

Alexis does what she’s asked as Mickey comes padding down the stairs and into the kitchen. Eli helps her climb up onto the barstool with him so she can sit on the counter with her little sister and sleepily watch her dad cook breakfast. 

There’s a knock at the door and Alexis brings the bottle with her, shaking it like Alex had shown her, walking to open the door, knowing it was most likely Jo coming to pick Margot up. She unlocks and opens it, letting Jo enter and greeting her with a smile. “Dad’s making waffles, hope you’re hungry.” She says before leading her into the kitchen. “Can you get Minnie out of her seat so I can feed her on the couch?” She asks, waiting for Jo. 

Jo looks directly at Alex and sighs at the nickname he’d given her daughter that had apparently stuck. “Why?” She groans. 

He laughs. “Minnie, like Mickey and Minnie, from Disney.” He explains and she gets it, but still rolls her eyes as she greets her baby, giving her a kiss before walking her over to the couch for Alexis. Once she’s reassured that Alexis was fine, she wanders back into the kitchen, greeting the rest of the Karev’s, giving both Eli and Mickey a hug. 

“Was she good? She’s been sleeping almost through the night.” 

Alex looks up, handing Jo a plate to start serving breakfast on. “She did great. She woke up at five for a bottle and then I brought her out here with me at eightish when I started the waffles. She ate an applesauce pouch last night too, and a full bottle, she was great. She loves me, it was absolutely fine, right you two?” He questions the kids for backup and they both nod, enforcing his words. 

Jo helps plate up the breakfast and carries it over to the table, returning to the living room to take Margot from Alexis so she could go eat her breakfast, thanking the nine year old for her help. 

“I like babies. She’s really cute and easy. I like helping with her, Jo, Minnie’s like our extra little sister.” She shrugs before heading off into the kitchen to drown her waffles in syrup. 

Jo sits down in the chair she usually sits in when she has meals over at Alex’s place, holding Margot on her lap and feeding her a bottle with one arm while she eats with her free arm. “How was your date last night? Jack stay over or did you kick him out before he could?” Alex asks, cordially. 

“He did stay over, actually. So thank you.” She says softly, blushing at the thought. 

“Mama, is Minnie coming to Daddy’s next time too?” Mickey asks, syrup dripping down her chin and all over her hands. 

It makes both of the adults freeze for a moment before Alex speaks up. “We’ll have to see, but she’s welcome anytime she wants to come over.” He answers. 

“We should get her a bed too, so next time she doesn’t have to sleep in her seat.” Eli pipes up. 

“We can get bunk beds for me and Mickey so there’s room for a baby crib in our room too!” Alexis pipes up excitedly, making Mickey cheer for bunk beds with her. 

Alex and Jo manage to settle the kids down, promising he’ll take them shopping for bunk beds soon. “But we’ll at least put Minnie’s bed in my room because babies cry in the middle of the night and I don’t want her to wake you girls up.” He says, shooting down their idea. “Maybe if she was older but she’s still too little now. 

––––––––––––––––––––

They’d easily settled into a routine, where Alex would take both of the girls some nights, so Jo and Jack could go out, and she was forever grateful for Alex to take Minnie too. So it was only fair that he texted her one morning, both of them at work together, but in different wings of the hospital as he sat in the attendings’ lounge. 

_ “Can we switch weekends with Mickey this week?” _

He waits for her reply before he starts explaining to her about a patient he has back in Kansas who came in, needing another operation and he needs to fly back there because the kid can’t be moved for travelling due to his diagnosis. 

She agrees instantly, before questioning him where the twins would be and if he was taking them with him. He says no, explaining how since they’re in school and he’s expecting to be there for a week that he’s going to see if Meredith can take them or Maggie but Jo texts him back, offering to take them herself. 

_ “It’s only fair! You take Minnie for me.” _ She texts him back. The damn nickname for Margot had stuck the past month. She still rolls her eyes every time she hears or reads it, but she has to agree, it’s cute and really fits her youngest daughter. 

Alex stares at his phone before texting her back.  _ “I’ll ask the twins tonight but I’m sure they won’t have any objections. Thank you.” _

So that’s how Jo found herself two days later, answering the door with a baby on her hip and greeting Alex’s twins both with suitcases and backpacks. He hands Jo a key to his house, letting her know if they need anything extra to just get it from the house before he kisses all four kids goodbye and heads for the airport. 

Mickey’s excited for her siblings to sleepover at her mama’s house this time around instead of being at daddy’s with them. She eagerly shows them to the spare room which Jo’s made up for Eli and then dragging Alexis into her room to show her sister her big girl bed that they both get to sleep in that night and for the week. 

Dinner that night consists of boxed mac and cheese, one of the staples Jo knows how to make without entirely ruining dinner, and a few questions that she’s not sure how to answer when Mickey pipes up how Alexis and Eli don’t call her Mama, like she does. It takes Jo back for a minute before figuring out how to explain to a three year old that Alexis and Eli had a mom who had died, which made for a slightly emotionally charged dinner after that. 

In an attempt to ease the tension, Jo puts on one of the minion movies before slipping out and putting a passed out Minnie in her crib for the night before returning to the couch where the other three kids were all piled into a heap, sharing popcorn and m&m’s. 

Mickey passes out halfway through the movie when she finally speaks up. “I’m sorry Mickey brought up your guys’ mom.” She apologizes.

Eli looks up at Jo and smiles. “It’s okay. She’s little, she didn’t know.” 

Alexis is still quiet and Jo senses something off with the nine year old. “Lex, you alright?” She asks softly, not wanting to push too hard but still wants her to know she could talk if she wanted to. 

Alexis looks up at her, tearing her gaze away from the movie and pressing pause. “You’re not our mom, but Mickey’s still our sister, and sometimes at school when they ask us about our siblings I tell my friends I have a twin brother and  _ two _ sisters. And we have this project to work on about family trees so where do I put you?” 

Jo smiles. “We can draw in an extra line where Mickey is and add Minnie and me.” 

“But what do I say to the class? Because I know that step-parents are if you get married again, but what are you?” She asks, confused still. 

Jo’s also at a loss for words for a moment before Alexis interrupts her thoughts and answers herself. “I’m just gonna tell them you’re Mama Jo.” She shrugs, hitting play on the remote and focussing her attention back on the cartoons. 

By the time Alex returns to Seattle by the end of the week, she’s been dubbed ‘Mama Jo’ and expects to have a conversation with Alex regarding the new moniker but he doesn’t seem to mention it at all. Jo’s heart just swells in her chest every time one of the twins refers to her as such. She doesn’t see the look in Alex’s eyes or the smile he fights back every time they say it. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come scream with me about jolex on tumblr @cicinicole-14


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jo pulls away and out of his driveway, he focuses his attention back to his daughter, looking down at her. 
> 
> “Daddy, Daddy!” She says, out of breath. “Guess what?” 
> 
> He makes a silly confused face at her as he leads her further into the house, Minnie fussing along the way in her seat, finally waking up. “What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye another chapter! we’re almost at the end!

The year seems to be passing by in the blink of an eye. Alex manages to throw the twins a perfect birthday bash at the indoor trampoline park, and his ulterior motive of loading up all the kids invited with sugar and then letting them wear themselves out jumping on trampolines for hours may have had something to do with that fact too, but he doesn’t think any of the other parents would disagree. 

Meredith’s kids, Scout, all of the twins’ friends from school and even Mickey had such a fun day, and had been completely exhausted by the time were all loaded up in the car to go home. It was Alex’s turn with Mickey, and coincidentally Jo and Jack’s anniversary, so he was also bringing Minnie home too after the party so that Jo and Jack could have an evening to themselves. He sets Minnie up in the pack’n’play that’s permanently in his room now before tucking Alexis in the top bunk wishing his daughter happy birthday and doing the same for Eli in the next room. He then goes back downstairs to pick a sleeping Mickey up off the couch and tuck her into the bottom bunk, kissing her goodnight. 

Mickey’s birthday follows two months after and everyone couldn’t have been more excited, both Alex and the twins finally getting to celebrate a birthday with her. Mickey begs for her birthday to be at the same indoor trampoline park that her brother and sister had their birthday at, so Jo doesn’t have the heart to say no. 

The party consists really of the same people, minus the twins’ friends from their school. Mickey stuffs her face full of cake and candy before ripping into all her presents, thanking everyone for her gifts, her favorite being the pink electronic mustang she’d gotten from both Jack and Jo and she gives them both a big hug, begging them to ride it when she got home. 

Alex gets to take her home later that night, and he gets to spend a birthday with her for the first time. He's really grateful that Jo was letting him take her on her birthday. He’d even offered to take Minnie too, as usual, but Jo let him know the social worker was stopping by in the morning and she needed Minnie at the house with her before the adoption hearing that next week. 

For dinner that night, he made waffles with his kids, chocolate chip and sprinkle filled, with whipped cream on top and a candle in it, something special for his daughter on the very first birthday he got to spend with her. He’s sad that it’s not her first but her fourth, but he and Jo had both been over it countless times before, beating themselves up over late night conversations, that he just looks at the brightside, and he has so many more to spend with her now. 

The four of them curl up on the couch, watching a movie and sharing a bowl of popcorn. He picks the kids’ brains about Minnie’s adoption hearing and if they’re excited about her fully being “part of the family” to which they all erupt in cheers. After Alexis’ initial confusion with the fact that Minnie isn’t technically their sister, Jo and Alex had both agreed to just let them continue calling Minnie their sister, too. She would always be family in their eyes, and at their age, it was an easy explanation. Not to mention that Alex viewed the baby like one of his own too, the little girl had quickly wrapped him around her finger in the months she’d known him but he didn’t mind one bit. It made him a little sad that she wasn’t spending the night with them tonight too, dare he admit that he missed getting up in the middle of the night with her for a feed or diaper change and walking the halls in the middle of the night, telling her stories of her Mama in the dark. 

––––––––––––––––––––

He adjusts his tie before walking into the courtroom, holding Mickey on his hip and the twins walking by his side, all dressed in their very best, both his girls donning matching double braids. 

He spots Jo at the front, nervously bouncing a grumpy Minnie on her lap, trying to entertain the fussy infant before the hearing started. He ushers the three kids into the chairs right behind Jo’s before greeting her and Jack and waving to Minnie who lit up at the sight of him, her demeanor changing immediately, much to Jo’s irritation having dealt with the fussy baby all morning. She huffs in disbelief before passing her over to Alex, hoping he would ultimately cheer her up for the remainder of the hearing. 

The judge walks in moments later and Jack takes his seat next to Alex and the kids, behind Jo, kissing her and wishing her luck. 

It’s a pretty simple trial. 

The judge goes over all of Minnie’s life, from the moment she was born to where she’s at now eleven months later. Jo’s called up to talk about Caroline, Minnie’s birth mom, and how the court finally had tracked her down to sign over her rights to Minnie before Jo could go about legally adopting her. 

Alex’s phone buzzes in the middle of the hearing that one of his patient’s is coding and he’s needed at the hospital immediately. Jack says he’ll inform Jo and they’ll take the twins with them after the hearing is over. He thanks the man, shaking his hand before kissing his kids, telling them to listen to Jack, before silently slipping out of the courtroom. 

Jo notices Alex’s disappearance and after shooting Jack a questioning look and he mouths back ‘work’ knowing Jo would understand and she does, nodding before the judge asks her to step up to the podium one last time.

It breaks her heart a little that Alex isn't here to see this, having to leave right before the good part. But she promises the judge to take care of her little girl and soon enough she’s signing papers and the judge is officially declaring her the legal and adoptive mother of Margot Joy Karev. 

––––––––––––––––––––

Mickey comes barrelling in the front door, yelling for him as he’s getting dressed for the day. His agenda that morning was just getting up and ready for work, get the twins off to their bus stop, and head into the hospital but Jo had texted him a half hour ago asking if she could drop the girls off with him as she was getting pulled into work for an emergency delivery and she didn’t have any time to get them ready because Jack had left early that morning for work himself. He of course said yes, and she’d packed both girls into the car before dropping them off in their pajamas, Mickey having just woken up and Minnie still asleep in her car seat. 

He’s hurrying down the stairs as Jo’s lugging Minnie inside with her bag, Mickey already jumping up in front of him, trying to get his attention but he’s too focussed on trying to help grab Minnie from Jo before she’s rushing back out of his house and into her car, yelling her thanks in return for such a hectic morning. 

After Jo pulls away and out of his driveway, he focuses his attention back to his daughter, looking down at her. 

“Daddy, Daddy!” She says, out of breath. “Guess what?” 

He makes a silly confused face at her as he leads her further into the house, Minnie fussing along the way in her seat, finally waking up. “What?” 

They reach the living room and he begins to unbuckle Minnie from her seat as Mickey climbs up onto the couch and stands up, trying to be taller. He’s in the middle of lifting Minnie out when his daughter answers him.

“Jack opposed to Mama nast night!” She says excitedly, bouncing on the couch.

It makes him freeze for a moment, suspending Minnie in the air as he was in the middle of lifting the almost one year old onto his hip. He snaps out of his revere quickly, looking back at his daughter. “He proposed, like with a ring?” he asks to clarify her toddler miscommunication. “Like they’re going to get married?”

“Y’huh!” She squeals excitedly. 

“Who’s getting married?” The new voice startles him, having not expected Eli to have walked down stairs already, his twin sister not far behind him at the top of the stairs. 

“Mama and Jack!” Mickey informs her siblings. “An’ I getta be a flower girl!”

Alex walks into the kitchen on auto pilot, setting Minnie in the clip-on high chair on the counter as his other three kids follow behind him. They animatedly chat amongst each other about the exciting news of a wedding as Alex numbingly pulls out three bowls and the boxes of lucky charms and cheerios. He pours lucky charms in the three bowls and adds milk to them before sliding them over to his older three kids, prompting them to eat their breakfast before school and then grabs the cheerios and dumps a handful in front of Minnie before he starts preparing a bottle for the one year old too, along with an squeeze pouch. 

It’s an hour later when all the kids are now dressed and ready for the day. Both the older girls’ hair done in his signature braids and he walks outside with all of the kids, Minnie in her seat and holding Mickey’s hand as they wave the twins off on their bus before he loads the younger two into the car and heading to the hospital to drop them off at the daycare for the day. 

It’s been a slow day, and normally, he’d be more than thankful for it, but all he wanted was a distraction from the news of this morning. It’s not what he gets as he enters the attendings lounge to grab a cup of coffee. He should be surprised to see Jo in the surgical attendings lounge, but knowing that she was probably there to talk to whoever was in there about her newest engagement, it doesn’t phase him. 

Link looks up, hearing the door to the lounge open and he smiles at Alex, saying hello, before telling Jo he needed to leave, leaving the two by themselves. 

Alex ignores her for a minute, setting his mind on getting his cup of coffee only, but she speaks up, talking casually as if she wasn’t being hush hush with Link just as he walked in. 

“Thanks for taking the girls this morning.” She says. “They were good right?” 

_ Of course they were fine, _ he thinks.  _ They’re always fine. _ They’re his girls. 

He just hums and nods in response. “Your delivery okay? I don’t need to come round on your patient at all?” He questions back, and it’s never been this awkward between them, ever. 

Jo fiddles with her hands, and he notices she’s not wearing a ring but knowing her, he knows it’s most likely pinned to the inside of her scrub top. 

She just hums and nods back in response before he breaks the awkward, tense silence. 

“I hear congratulations are in order? Mickey said Jack  _ opposed _ to you last night?” He says, using the same wrong word his daughter said earlier that morning, making both himself and Jo crack smiles. 

And then they're both schooling their emotions and Jo finally locks eyes with him, a look he can’t quite discern. She looks sad, and happy at the same time and it confuses him, honestly. He wants to ask, he wants to object. He wants to do something but it’s not his place anymore. Jack’s a great guy, and Jo seems genuinely happy with him, she’s been happy with him for the past almost two years. Jack’s even great with the girls, and that was the most important thing. Alex didn’t have any objections to the man, other than the fact that he was planning to marry Jo, but again, that wasn’t Alex’s place anymore. 

“I’m happy for you.” He says. 

Jo believes it, for the most part, even if she sees that his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes like they used to. She pushes away the thought of seeing the pain flash across his eyes, brushing it off as her seeing things and making it up in her head. She’s happy–with  _ Jack, _ she tells herself. And she is. 

“Yeah.” She says softly, confirming the engagement. “I’d come home from work last night and Jack had already picked up the girls for me. Apparently he told Mickey when he picked them up that he was going to propose. She bragged about knowing before I did. And so in the middle of dinner he just asked me to marry him and pulled out a ring.” She pauses to unpin it from the inside of her scrub top, just as Alex thought. She slips it on for show before continuing her story. “It’s weird, you know? We talked about it, and he knows I’ve been married before. He knows about Paul. He’d asked back when I talked about Paul, and you, if I’d ever get married again, and I told him if the right guy asked.” She shrugs. “He’s so great. He loves the girls as if they’re his own. He loves me. He’s patient with me, and he surprisingly isn’t bothered having you in our lives which, I know isn’t his place anyway because you’re Mickey’s dad. You’ll always be in my life. But he knows we’re friends. He’s so good to me, to us.” 

Alex doesn’t know why she’s saying all of these things, he likes Jack. Jack’s a good guy and treats Jo well. He’s seen it. He’s seen the way he genuinely cares for her and the girls. He’s just not sure why Jo’s being so weird about it but he pushes that thought out of his mind before looking at her. 

“He’s a great guy. I’m happy for you both.” He says again. 

Jo just smiles back at him, this time her smile not reaching her eyes. “Thanks.” She says softly before heading towards the door. “I’ll pick the girls up after daycare tomorrow.” 

He just nods in response as she walks away. 

––––––––––––––––––––

Alex follows Mickey and the twins in as they let themselves into Jo’s house, each holding a gift and greeting “Mama Jo”. Alex walks in behind them, carrying the birthday girl and a tray of sandwiches Jo had asked him to pick up on his way to her house. She’d sent the girls with him the night before so she and Jack could prepare the house for Minnie’s first birthday party the next day without them getting into everything or distracting her from decorating or ruining any of the decorations. 

Alex laughs seeing the Minnie Mouse themed decorations and it makes him crack a smile as he meets Jo in the kitchen, setting the tray of food down as she reaches out for her not-so-little-baby, greeting her with birthday wishes and kissing her face. Jack walks in from outside and Alex greets the firefighter with a handshake and a hello. 

The other three kids are out the back door as soon as they spot the rented bounce house set up on the grass, Jo knowing that them and Meredith’s kids and Scout would all need to do something to burn off all of their cake from the party. 

The rest of their guests arrive within the hour and the party’s in full swing. Kids are running throughout the house and back and forth into the bouncy castle, adults mingling and chatting among themselves as Alex is hunting down a crawling birthday girl so he can put her in her decorated high chair for her smash cake. 

He finally secures eyes on her and scoops her up, lifting her up in the air as she erupts in a fit of giggles and he presses a kiss to her chubby cheek. He pulls off her special birthday shirt Jo had instructed him to dress her in this morning but leaves the headband bow on her head, locking her into her high chair as Jack and Jo each carry out a cake. 

Jack sets the party’s cake on one of the tables outside while Jo sets the small pink and black Minnie Mouse cake down on the tray of the high chair as she lit the one-shaped candle on top, leading everyone into singing  _ Happy Birthday _ to Minnie, the dreaded nickname having stuck. 

Mickey stands on her tippy toes next to the high chair, helping blow out the candle for her little sister and Jo takes it out before pushing it closer to the one year old as everyone waits for her to smash into it. 

But she doesn’t. 

Instead, Minnie curiously pokes at the pink frosting, sticking her finger in it before breaking out in hysterical tears, making the whole crowd laugh and then feel bad for her. Jo immediately scoops her out from the high chair, consoling her as Jack takes initiative to start cutting up the other cake for the guests, mainly kids, at Mickey’s whine for cake. 

Jo stands next to Alex, trying to calm Minnie down, licking the frosting off her daughter’s tiny finger to wipe it away. She looks up at Alex shaking her head in disbelief. “Mickey literally shoved both hands and her entire face into her cake and made a complete mess all over Meredith’s kitchen, I was sure Minnie would do something similar.” She’s still rubbing circles on an overtired, crying Minnie in her arms, to no avail. 

Alex shrugged, laughing. “You’ll definitely have to show me those pictures. Sounds like something she’d do.” 

Jo agrees, laughing at the memory before feeling sorry about him not having known or been there to see it. She stops herself from spiralling though, shaking the thoughts from her mind, knowing her and Alex’s agreement to not feel guilty about the past they can’t change. 

Mickey takes that moment to run up to them, face covered in frosting from her cake as she bounces around. “Daddy, Daddy! Y’hafta try the cake!” She squeals, grabbing his hand and trying to drag him over to eat a piece. He turns to follow his daughter so Jo could console Minnie in privacy when he stops in his tracks. 

“Dada!” 

The cry makes both Jo and Alex freeze. Even Minnie does for a moment but not for the same reason. 

“Minnie said her word!” Mickey says cheerfully, jumping up and down. 

And while Jo’s over the moon that her baby said her first word, she’s a bit taken back, not knowing how to feel. “She–she uh,” She starts stuttering out. “I should go find Jak. Go try the cake, Alex.” She says before turning and walking the opposite direction. 

Alex stood there for a moment, listening as Minnie cried out the same word over again a few times until she and Jo disappeared inside the house, and with that, he swung Mickey up onto his hip, tickling her as he did, set out to find a piece of cake for himself. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me @cicinicole-14 on tumblr


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this about what she said on her birthday?” He questions, finally addressing the elephant in the room. He’s only greeted with silence on the other end of the line before he continues. “Is it Jack? Does he want to be _Dad _to her?” He pushes further.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, I apologize for nothing. this whole part made me melt and was a big part of the fic and my want to write it. anyway, tomorrow is the final part! so excited!

After Minnie went down for an early night, the day of her birthday party, Jo had avoided him for the greater part of that evening except when he and the twins said their goodbyes to her, Jack and Mickey later than evening. He didn’t know who all heard about Minnie’s first word, he’s sure the majority of the party, if not its entirety, had known by the end of the night due to Mickey being a witness, knowing his daughter would excitedly chatter away the information that was a sensitive subject between the two adults. 

And then Jo avoided talking about it, and Alex didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. 

Until it was his turn with Mickey, and seemingly Minnie, until he arrived to pick the girls up from daycare, only to find just Mickey waiting for him. To say he was a bit hurt was an understatement, but he knew that in reality, Minnie  _ wasn’t _ his daughter, even if that’s what it felt like. He had no claim on her, and Jo had every right to choose when and if he could see her at all. He’d just gotten so used to having them both, and he was grateful for Jo to let him have a relationship with her youngest daughter. It had meant the world to him, and he knew that it meant the world to the twins too that they got to be a big sister to not only Mickey, but Minnie, too. 

He meets the twins outside at the entrance of the hospital, where they’d just been dropped off from the bus and notices the frown on Alexis’ face. 

“Where’s Minnie? Did Mama Jo take her? Is she coming later?” She fires off the questions one after the other, not letting Alex get an answer in. 

He doesn’t exactly know what to say, either. Mickey hadn’t said anything on their elevator ride downstairs, and he hadn’t had the chance to ask Jo yet either. But the sad frown on Alexis’ face pulls at his heartstrings, and he knows the ache in his chest isn’t just due to the sadness his daughter is showing, but also the feeling of someone missing from their family at that very moment. 

“Uh, yeah. Mama Jo picked her up. She had a fever. We didn’t want to get the rest of you sick.” He covers, not having the heart to tell them the truth. Not even sure what the truth was. 

He tucks all three of the kids in, later that night before making the decision to finally pick up the phone and get some answers. 

It rings, once, twice, three times before ultimately going to voicemail and he sighs defeatedly, deciding to just turn on the TV instead. 

He’s still channel surfing for something to watch when his phone vibrates next to him and he sees a selfie of Mickey and Jo flash on the screen, picking up the call before it goes into voicemail and greets Jo on the other line. 

_ “Hey, sorry. I was putting Margot down.” _ She says, apologizing for missing his call. 

And for some odd reason, a wave of sadness rushes through his chest, hearing Jo refer to Minnie as Margot. He doesn’t know exactly why, but it feels wrong. Something felt wrong. 

“Jo, what’s going on?” He asks. “Is everything okay? Is Minnie okay? I was expecting to pick her up too.” He says. 

_ “Jack’s at the station tonight, the house was empty.” _ She says but he knows that it’s an excuse, because Jack covers the nightshift at the station every two weeks and Jo still lets him take Minnie with him on those nights too. 

“Jo–”    
  
_ “Alex, she’s fine.  _ We’re _ fine.” _ She insists. 

He knows it’s a lie. They both do. The tone of her voice, he’s known her too long to know that she’s not saying everything. 

“Is this about what she said on her birthday?” He questions, finally addressing the elephant in the room. He’s only greeted with silence on the other end of the line before he continues. “Is it Jack? Does he want to be  _ Dad _ to her?” He pushes further. 

_ “It’s…” _ Jo sighs.  _ “Jack’s fine. It’s not that.” _

“Then what is it, Jo? Did I do something? Tell me if I did, please, or give me a heads up next time. Lex was practically devastated to find out Minnie wasn’t going to be coming with us tonight.” He explains. He doesn’t mean to make her feel guilty for this though. 

_ “She’s welcome to come see her tomorrow, you can bring her over if you want, if she wants to see her.”  _

“Jo, that’s not the point. I know she’s not my daughter. I know she’s fully yours, but you know I’ve grown to see her as one of my own too. I just kind of expected to have her with me for these couple days too. And then I show up to daycare and my kid––Minnie’s already been picked up.” He slips, correcting himself, yet still trying to keep his tone calm and even. He knows it’s not his decision. 

_ “You left early, the day of her adoption hearing.” _ Jo speaks up, finally, after a beat. 

“I had an emergency surgery.” He defends. 

_ “And you missed the part where the judge declared me the official mother of Margot Joy Karev.” _ She says, emphasizing her last name. She takes a deep breath before starting again.  _ “I know we didn’t talk about this, but I never went back to my old last name, because I’d found out I was pregnant with Mickey and I wanted to have the same last name as my child, but I also knew that she was a Karev, through and through. So when the time came with Minnie,” _ the switch back to her nickname makes Alex sigh in relief, like he was finally feeling like he was getting answers.  _ “The judge let me put her name down and I didn’t even think about it. I wrote down Karev, because that’s Mickey’s name, that’s my name. I didn’t ask you–” _

“You didn’t need to ask, Jo. You said it yourself, that’s  _ your _ last name.” He reassures her. “Also, did you really think I didn’t know? I sign her out of daycare quite frequently. Her and Mickey are listed right on top of each other, Karev-comma-first name.” He says as he hears Jo groan in embarrassment. “Karev’s your last name too. And I don’t want you to feel like you ever needed to ask.” 

There’s a long pause again, and he knows she’s trying to come up with the words to say something but he beats her to it. “So how does Jack really feel about all of this?” He questions. 

Jo sighs softly.  _ “He’s so good, Alex.” _ She starts.  _ “He knows how we are. He knows it’s how we’ll always be. He knows that we do it for the girls and it won't change anything. He’s going to be their stepdad and that’s it. He has a relationship with them, in the sense of watching movies and playing, occasionally getting picked up by him and visiting him and the firetrucks. Mickey knows he’s ‘Jack’.” _ She says. 

“And Minnie?” Alex says. They’ve finally circled back around. 

_ “And Minnie knows he’s ‘Jack’ too.” _ She finally tells. 

There’s a long pause, and this time Alex isn’t sure if Jo’s even on the line anymore until he hears what he assumes as a shift in position, muffled on the other line. 

_ “That wasn’t the first time she’s said ‘Dada’.” _ Jo reveals. And before Alex can formulate a question, she’s already talking again.  _ “You’d called sometime last week, and your caller ID popped up. She took my phone off my nightstand while I was getting dressed and she saw your photo and very clearly said to me, ‘Dada’. And then I thought nothing of it, because she started calling the cup ‘dada’ and her bottle ‘dada’ and me ‘dada’ even though I’ve tried correcting that one to ‘mama’. And then since you seemed so surprised at the party, I’m guessing she didn’t say anything that night you had her before the party?”  _

Alex confirms her questioning before she continues. 

_ “She said it the next morning. I walked into the nursery to get her out of her crib and she was sitting there with the saddest look on her face just mumbling it every other minute. And so I thought, ‘oh, she’s meaning Jack. I’m okay with this’ but when I brought her into our room and put her on the bed, she kept saying dada. And it wasn’t Jack that she wanted. He grabbed my phone and pulled up a picture of you and the girls, and she went from a sad, crying ‘dada’ to a smile and basically shouted it.” _

“Jack’s okay with that?” 

_ “We talked about it.” _ She states.  _ “And he really does get it. He knows you see her more than he does. And he’s said that he respects that he will only be in her life as a stepfather. He leaves the disciplinary things to me, and the nighttime routine, unless I ask him if he could start it. He knows bath times are my job too, but he’ll take one for the team with diapers occasionally. And he knows that you’re the one she really does view as her dad, even though technically neither of you are. He knows that I let you parent her alongside Mickey, too, regardless that you aren’t her father. And he said it really only made sense to him that she does end up calling you Dad, and he’s not wrong.” _

Alex agrees with Jack’s point of view that she’s explaining. 

“And how do you feel about this?” He asks. 

_ “I–” _ She pauses.  _ “I don’t know.” _ She reluctantly admits. 

And Alex gets it. He knows Jo. He knows the unspoken words she’s not saying. That this ultimately scares her. And it brings him back to the day she told him about the engagement, over a month ago. The way he could see the unsureness in her eyes. The unease. He hates it. To know he’s the one making her feel this way. Making them feel so awkward now and interrupting the even flow of a family dynamic they’d created for themselves. 

“Well, I mean, if you’re okay with it, I would love for Minnie to know me as her dad.” He speaks up. “And if you’re not, that’s fine too. I respect that. She’s your daughter, after all.” 

There’s a soft, defeated sigh before her voice flows through the receiver again.  _ “She’s your daughter too. I’d be cruel to start keeping her from you now after all this time.”  _

“For real?” And he tries not to sound like an eager little kid, excited about a wish coming true. 

_ “Yeah.” _ She says quietly.

“I love her, just as much as I love Mickey. You know that’ll never change, biology be damned. She’s your daughter, Jo, she’s a part of you and how can I not love her?” The question is rhetorical. “And I know you feel the same way about the twins, I don’t doubt it for a second. You’re their  _ Mama Jo _ . That’s never going to change and I love that they have someone like you in their life, especially since Izzie died.” He says, a smile gracing his lips as he thinks about how happy it makes him that Jo’s such a big part of his life again. He loves her, he always has. He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop, even if she didn't love him back. And he was happy that she had finally found happiness again, in Jack. “I love that you see them as part of your family too, even though they were a factor in the reason we ended. I love that they know they can come to you with anything and trust that you’ll be there for them. I love that you let them call you Mama Jo, and Minnie their little sister, too, no questions asked. I love that you’re not only letting me in Mickey’s life, but also Minnie’s, even though you don’t have to. I love everything you do for our kids, Jo, even if we’re not together while we raise them, like we had initially planned.” He doesn’t know where all of this is stemming from, but he felt like he needed to get it off his chest, letting the words just tumble out of his mouth. “Even after all these years, I still love you, too. That won’t change.” 

_ “I know.” _ And Alex swears he can hear her voice start to crack but before he can say anything, she’s interrupting, rushing her words out.  _ “I’ll drop Minnie off in the morning. You can keep her with Mickey like usual. I have to go.”  _

And he doesn’t even get to reply before she’s hanging up the phone and he’s left staring at his, wondering what the hell had just happened.

True to her word, Jo drops Minnie off with him the next morning, the one year old very clearly happy to see him, greeting him with a cheerful “Dada!” 

And his heart swells in his chest, taking her from Jo and looking at the child in his arms. “That’s right.” He happily confirms. “Dada.” 

Together they turn to wave Jo off, who was already back in her car, not even having said goodbye, and they watch her drive off. 

She doesn’t bring up their conversation ever again, and he never pushes. And soon they return back to normal, switching off on their unofficial ‘regular’ days, still getting together and having family dinners every once in a while, Jack included. And Alex is happy. About being able to hear Minnie call him Dada, and the way his family feels whole finally, and how good everything truly was for him in that moment, even if he did still love Jo, and even if she didn’t love him back.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come scream about jolex with me on tumblr @cicinicole-14


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She pauses, staring at him for a moment. “Am I doing the right thing?” She asks softly. She wants to feel like this was right. That she was making the right choice. 
> 
> Or maybe she was waiting for him to tell her no. To give her a reason not to be doing this today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s here it’s here it’s here! this was my absolute favorite part to write. I’m really proud of this whole fic entirely. it was a challenge for me to really nail down the parallelism in it between this part and part one. can’t wait for y’all to read! enjoy!!
> 
> also, ive considered writing snapshots and missing moments and post-fic moments with this series if anyone’s interested and wants them. just send me an ask!

Everything was going perfect. For once in her life, everything was  _ actually _ going according to plan. Unlike at her and Alex’s first wedding, where everything had seemingly gone oh so very wrong. Today was going all according to plan. 

And even all of the kids were listening. 

It felt unnatural, almost. Like she should be waiting for the other shoe to finally drop, because she didn’t believe that she could be happy like this again. 

Except she knew that she could be  _ happier. _

Deep down, she knew she could. If she had just spoken up, said something, anything, she wouldn’t have to feel this guilty on her wedding day.

But she was happy, content, fine. It was  _ fine. _

She stares in the mirror, smoothing over her white dress, taming a curl here and there, jumping when there was a knock on her dressing room door. She swiftly makes her way over, opening it and rolls her eyes and fake groans as she sees Alex standing in front of her with a goofy, crooked grin across his face. 

“You really shouldn’t be in here.” She warns him. And she really wishes he wasn’t. She wishes he wasn’t here at all. In her dressing room, at her wedding, sometimes she wishes he wasn’t even in her life and maybe it wouldn’t be so hard. It wouldn’t feel like she was supposed to be making such a choice, and feeling guilty for choosing the wrong one… 

“I just wanted to make sure the kids weren’t in here getting into trouble or bothering you…” He brushes off.

“They actually listen to me, unlike  _ someone.” _ She says, giving him a pointed look.

She watches as he looks at himself in the full-length mirror, adjusting his tie and running his fingers through his hair. She laughs lightly, rolling her eyes not believing his excuse before readjusting his tie and smoothing out the hair he’d just ruffled up. 

She pauses, staring at him for a moment. “Am I doing the right thing?” She asks softly. She wants to feel like this was right. That she  _ was _ making the right choice. 

Or maybe she was waiting for him to tell her no. To give her a reason not to be doing this today. 

She’d waited almost a year to see if he’d say anything else, other than that one night over the phone all those months ago. But he’d dropped it, never bringing up the subject again, never saying those three words again. But she didn’t need him to say them. He showed her, all the time, every day almost, how much he still loved her. She felt it. 

But she loved  _ Jack. _

She was marrying  _ Jack. _

Today.

She feels him take her hands in his larger ones, her palms feel so tiny in his and he looks down at them before looking up at her. 

“I can’t tell you that.” He says quietly. “Only you can be the judge of that, Jo.” 

She lets out a deep sigh before taking a look in the mirror and then glancing around the room, making sure she didn’t forget anything before her eye catches the clock and her eyes widen at the time. 

“Alex, seriously, we’re gonna be late!” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” He shrugs and she elbows him in the side as the door swings open, revealing Link. 

“You need to be out there?” He pauses, looking between Alex and Jo. 

And so, she watches him walk off. 

She follows Link out of the dressing room, taking the path Alex had just gone, before stopping at the closed doors of the venue. 

“Ready?” Link asks her. 

She swallows, hard. Not trusting herself to speak, she just nods, with tears filling in her eyes and she knows Link believes them as tears of joy, but in the reality of it all, was that he couldn’t be more wrong. 

She watches as Mickey holds the basket between herself and Minnie, leading her almost two year old little sister down the aisle between all their family and friends, showing her how to toss the rose petals before they abruptly stop three-quarters of the way down the aisle as Minnie erupts in tears and starts to cry. 

Link holds her arm back, and she’s forced to wait back, watching her child cry for a moment before she sees Alexis graciously step out from a chair and gather the little girl, who’d become her little sister, into her arms and carry her back to a seat, watching as Minnie’s tears started to cease. 

Mickey finishes her job, throwing petals down the remainder of the aisle before standing in her spot they had shown her just last night. She takes her job with every ounce of seriousness in her little body, holding the giant flower basket in front of her, bouncing on the tips of her toes. 

And then everyone’s turning towards the back, staring at her. 

She feels like she’s on display, on a shelf, in a store. 

Link squeezes her hand in his, reassuring her, before leading her down the aisle to him; to Jack. 

Jack was waiting for her. 

Jack was marrying her today. 

Jack would be her husband. 

Jack, Jack,  _ Jack. _

Link lets go of her once they reach the end, once he presents her to her groom, once his job is done. He leaves her, feeling alone standing up there. Feeling nervous. Terrified. Exposed. 

She can feel _his_ eyes on her. And truly, it's killing her. It had slowly been eating away at her ever since he said _I_ _love you._ Maybe even before then, maybe even since he’d come back…

She’d pushed it down, pushed it away, thrown it in a box and locked it away at the back of her heart, not wanting to open it again. 

But of course, it was here, having fought to be at the front of her heart, rearing its nasty head, fighting to be let out. Fighting to be told. 

_ She loved Jack. _ She told herself. And it was true. She did love Jack. 

But not in the way she loved Alex. 

She loved Jack, for helping heal her heart, and helping be the tape and glue that held her together when her husband had left her. She loved Jack for the friendship she began with him, and the interests they shared together. She loved Jack, for the way he loved her daughters, because that’s what they were to him;  _ her _ daughters. She loved Jack for the way he loved her. 

But  _ Alex? _

She loved Alex like he was her last breath. She loved Alex in the way she had never loved anyone else in the entire world, until she met her daughters. She loved Alex in the way a parched man loved water. The way that bees love honey, and dogs loved their bones. She loved him like she’d never loved before. Like loving him could make her feel like she could do anything _ ––would _ do anything. She’d jump on a plane in an attempt to beat him to his destination, declaring her love for him in front of anyone if it came to it. Or record him a video every day, reminding him who she was, who he was, and why she loved him. She’d write him letters, every day for a year, or ten or twenty, if she had to. She loved Alex like it made her have no fears, no weaknesses; but she did have one fear, one weakness––and it was him. 

She loved him, with every breath in her. She loved him for the way he loved her. For the way he stepped back and accepted another man; Jack, into their lives. For the way that he loved  _ their _ kids; all four of them. Because it wasn’t just Mickey. And it wasn’t just the twins he had with Izzie. It was Alexis, and Eli, and Michaela, and Margot. She loved him for the way he was everything to her. 

And it hurt, like hell, the love she had for him. 

It was loud and painful and messy and  _ exhilarating. _

And she hates that she’s having this revelation now. That it’s taken her this long to realize it. Right now, while standing at the altar, across from a man who  _ wasn’t _ Alex. A man she was  _ supposed _ to be marrying. 

And she’s fighting the urge to just breakdown and cry, and hopes no one can see through her facade. 

But the panic rises in her chest, and she can feel her stress hives bubbling just below the surface, itching to break through. 

And then, she tenses, as she’s asked to repeat her vows. The  _ “I can’t do this, I’m sorry” _ falls ever so quietly from her lips as her hands drop down to her sides and her whole body feels like she’s shaking. She takes one step back, and then another, careful not to bump into her daughter standing behind her as she turns. 

She knows Alex has been watching her the entire time. She always knows. Like she is connected to him. And maybe that’s just it. Maybe they are connected, some way, somehow. Woven from the same cloth. Or twin flames, and he was the other half of her soul. A single soul, split between two bodies.

She doesn’t know, doesn’t care. Not in this moment. Not right now. 

She grips her dress in her fingers and pulls it up, just enough so she can hurry down the aisle without risking a fall. 

And she can hear her name being called behind her. Two different voices. One grows further as she puts more distance between herself and everyone else. 

But his voice, it never falters. And it follows right behind her. Telling her to stop, to wait, to go back, but she can’t. Not now. Not ever. 

Because she doesn’t want that, out there, standing there with Jack, seeing her kids every few days, letting her life be run by custody schedules and emotionally charged family dinners. Not when her heart doesn’t belong there. Her heart belongs to him, to the father of her kids. To the other half of her soul. To the man who followed her into her dressing room, telling her to go back to another man when she knew he loved her in the same way she loved him back. 

He takes her hands in his, and holds them, gently, wiping the tears falling from her eyes, and she looks up at him. “I can’t do this, I can’t. I’m sorry.” Her heart is racing in her chest, the back of her neck itches with a breakout of hives. She feels like she’s going to be sick. 

This  _ wasn’t _ supposed to happen. 

Today  _ wasn’t _ supposed to be like this. 

And then the door to her dressing room opens, and she turns, her back facing Alex now.

She looks up, seeing the sadness in Jack’s ever-caring and understanding eyes. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve her. He deserved better than this, better than she could offer him, because he deserved someone who loved him with her whole heart, whole being, not just a tiny piece of her heart, as Jo did. 

“I can’t do this, I’m sorry.” She says through tear filled eyes. 

“I know.” He replies softly, and that little piece of her heart that she loved him with, breaks. 

And the other shoe finally drops. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on tumblr about jolex @cicinicole-14

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me in the comments or on Tumblr @cicinicole-14


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